and, in fact, get you exactly what you want: responses, phone numbers, dates, and success.Chase woke up one day in 2004 tired of being alone.We may fib a little when describing whether we smoke, but what incentive is there to stretch the truth about what we want in a mate? How much should I explain about myself in my profile? Think about how websites write their headlines, e.g., "9 Out of 10 Americans Are Complete Wrong About This Mind-Blowing Fact." After reading that, you want to know what the fact is, right? Create a sense of mystery and excitement and give people a concrete reason to contact you.6. But you need to be explicit and honest about where you live early on—and you need to be willing to put in the effort to drive out to see the people you're meeting.7.

If they do send you a message, a photo is likely to be the first thing they ask for.

You need to post two to four casual photos of just yourself.3.

But I want to lay these out first -- because they're so vital to solid message writing -- and we'll get into the "whys" and the "hows" in a moment.

I was going to write about something else today -- I have a couple of big-concept posts I've been meaning to write up and get around to -- but, heck, the last post I put up was a big-concept post so I figured let's have a quick breather from that and get something a little lighter up first. I've been all too guilty of this myself -- sending super-long messages.

If you use Pinterest, which puts all its emphasis on photos, you already know the power of an image.

Online retailers showcase photos of their products for good reason. With this in mind, think about the photos you've uploaded. Or do you look absolutely stunning—showing a little skin, wearing fresh makeup, looking happy? I don't want anyone to know who I am in real life. Chances are extremely good that few people will click through your profile.

It has to do more with neuroscience than superficiality.

We're drawn to photos over text, because we can process that visual information and make inferences more quickly.

I even wrote a book about what I learned—and included a final chapter written by the man who took me out on my last-ever first date.

Whether you're creating a new profile or you're a longtime, frustrated online dater, I have some insights that will help make your experience better.

Am I really being matched with someone specifically for me, or is it all random chance? The problem has to do with how dating sites collect and parse our data.